A Home of Their Own

Another Way for week of August 12, 2022

A Home of Their Own

I stared at my daughter’s sweet photo of the first real meal she’d cooked in their new home. It spoke volumes to me. I was so happy for her. For them.

This daughter, our youngest, had waited a long long time—and worked hard —for her own kitchen, her own dining room, their own home. She had lived in apartments with roommates, in dorms, at home with us for several years after college. There was always shared refrigerator and freezer space to squirm over, shared cupboard and counter space, and coping with roomies—some who were great friends of course—who had different standards of neatness in the bathroom or elsewhere. And living with your parents after college? Well, it went well, but most people yearn for their own space, right?

Daughter got married in the midst of the pandemic and enjoyed sharing a townhouse with her husband and mother-in-law for over two years.

But there is nothing like your own digs, your own kitchen, your own little backyard.

They worked hard to find a suitable, affordable place. Of course this was all in the midst of rocketing home prices. And naturally they were quite green about how to go about financing and shopping for and bidding on a property. Hey, we’re all pretty green when we buy our first home, right? Their experiences really took me back to those long-ago days, and how the reality of shopping for a home was totally and remarkably different. NO internet shopping for previewing homes, for example. No signing papers online or by email.

They had disappointments, and faced some shocking finds as they swiped through photos online of possible homes for them. One place, for all practical purposes, had an unusable kitchen: one wall faced a kitchen sink with walking space so narrow that anyone other than a very small person would be able to use the sink or open the doors beneath it. That place had been beautifully renovated and looked impressive online, but with such a major flaw that after a tour, they walked away.

They fretted and stayed up late completing bids for homes. How much was too much to bid? What would the sellers scoff at? All the while they were wondering what we all wonder: can we really afford this? How will we make payments? What will the home market do next? Should we wait? How long?

They settled for a townhouse in a community a 25-minute drive further out, but a little more affordable. It was not the dream house you might long for, but as we moved their belongings in on a recent sweltering Saturday, my heart soared for them. Our daughter had waited long for a guy she wanted to marry, and together they seem like a dear pair. We love them and they us. Our pizza lunch (doesn’t everyone have pizza on the day they move in somewhere?) with a small gathering of several family helpers was a meal of happiness.

They had found a dining room table and six chairs on Craigslist (of course) and brought that furniture—with some difficulty—to their new place a week earlier. Now the table sported a lovely homemade tablecloth, cloth napkins, nice stemware. A laptop sat on the other end of the table: they are still settling in of course, still unpacking—but it all said “home” to me. We’re so happy for them.

A home of one’s own is a precious commodity and one that millions of folks around the world have never had, with little hope of ever owning one. A table to sit down at with your spouse is a luxury. A spaghetti dinner may be a simple meal but it is indeed savored and something to celebrate. I’m glad they want to hang on to the tradition of keeping dinnertime—as much as feasible!

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Your own memories or experiences of the first home you owned as a married couple? Or with a friend or companion?

Perhaps you prefer to rent, or have no other options! We want to hear your experience as well.

Chat here or send your comments to me at anotherwaymedia@yahoo.com or Another Way Media, P.O. Box 363, Singers Glen, VA 22834.

Another Way is a column by Melodie Davis, in syndication since 1987. She is the author of ten books. Another Way columns are posted at FindingHarmonyBlog.com a week after newspaper publication.