The Shopping Trip that Almost Stopped a Wedding
Another Way for June 16, 2023
The Shopping Trip that Almost Stopped a Wedding
Mother started dating because her older sister Florence told her it was time—at age 16. Mother did have a crush in high school over a boy who “wasn’t even cute,” Mom wrote in a journal my sister Linda “Pert” gave her (so we’d have more stories sharing her thoughts and experiences).
Mom said she enjoyed going to gatherings where young people would give speeches or skits. One goal was to “meet new cute guys.” Emphasis on cute. Other typical teen dates usually included going to church, an amusement park, miniature golfing, or church fellowships. She added, “Of course there was a war going on then and gas was rationed,” which limited activities. A lot of guys were “away in service, either army or Civilian Public Service.”
Dad and Mom starting exchanging letters when he served at a mental hospital in Michigan, and Mom lived in northern Indiana. Mother was actually out with another guy when Dad first came to visit Mom, and her father and dog got acquainted with my Daddy first—always a good move! Mom recalled, “I was quite interested because he owned a farm already (ha!) and was good looking too!”
Mother’s mother, Ruth, said Daddy was too old for mom—about seven years older. He was also shorter than mom. “Plus, he had size eight shoes while I wore 10’s!”
Mother began working on transforming his hair cut which had been parted in the middle, a look she didn’t care for. She said Dad was “so easy to talk to and lots of fun.” (Mom added, again, that “he was good looking,” lest we forget.) Mom also “felt so comfortable with him.”
As they learned to know each other’s families, Dad’s nieces were about Mom’s age, and they were “so friendly at our first meeting. Especially Audrey Ann and Gloria.”
They dated for about three years and the courtship began in earnest when World War 2 was over. Mom wrote, “I prayed a lot. It took me several years to know I had found ‘the one,’” she said, adding, “Lord, if I am to marry this guy, make me fall in love with him!”
When Dad proposed to Mom in his car, she answered, “Maybe.” After some lengthy pondering because of their age difference, she finally said yes.
As the wedding approached, they went shopping in Fort Wayne, Ind., an hour away, looking for a suit for Dad. Dad soon found a suit he liked and fit, but mother thought it would be good to look in a few other stores. Shopping was one of mom’s favorite activities while Dad was more of a “look, fit, buy, get out” guy. Daddy was so frustrated over that shopping trip that they almost broke up. “It was sad to have him so mad at me. He didn’t even kiss me goodbye that day,” Mom recalled.
But they got married at Olive Mennonite Church on January 1, 1946, with Mom dressed in a white satin dress she had made herself, and carried a satin covered Bible. They had no wedding rings. Only immediate family members were invited—parents and siblings. Their marriage went for 60 wonderful years until Dad died in 2006.
Her fondest memory of the wedding was that the minister said they dared kiss at the end of the ceremony if “we didn’t hang on too long.” Mom was so happy to have a church wedding and a honeymoon in Florida, a longtime dream for Mom. The trip instilled in them both a love for travel—a yen that all of us children have. The match was arranged in heaven and we know that’s where their spirits are today. Thanks, Dad, for all you gave us and meant to us.
Our hearts go out to all children who don’t know or are not able to be with their fathers, and I pray for father figures for those kids. My heart warms as I observe my sons-in-law taking such active roles in raising their little ones. Happy belated Father’s Day!
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Do you know your parents’ love story?
What do you do to make up after a disagreement?
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Fellow blogger Marian Beaman shares her love story in her new memoir, My Checkered Life: A Marriage Memoir. You may want to check it out!
Comment here or write to me at Another Way, P.O. Box 363, Singers Glen, VA 22834, or email anotherwaymedia@yahoo.com.
Another Way is a column by Melodie Davis, in syndication since 1987. She is the author of ten books, most recently Memoir of an Unimagined Career. Another Way columns are posted at FindingHarmonyBlog.com a week after newspaper publication.
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In my opinion, one good reason for marrying is like your mother’s: Mom also “felt so comfortable with him.”
My son-in-law says I shop like a man: in and out with not much dallying. Our daughter is probably like many women, including your mother: Checking out all the merchandise, making comparisons.
Your parents’ wedding photo is nostalgic in many ways, with the bride holding a satin-covered Bible with streamers, which seems silly nowadays though typical of many Mennonite girls in the 1940s and 50s.
I think I’m kind of middle of the road on shopping, and do much less of it in stores in recent years (don’t need that much and covid etc.) But it is interesting to hear your son-in-law’s diagnosis! And shopping-wise, my husband used to shop hours and hours (boredom for daughters and me in places like Home Depot) but he can no longer take the time on his feet so we’re about equal on time in stores now. ;-}
Mom made her own dress–I think–and covered the little Bible herself–pretty sure. Thanks for your comments and reflections here!
What a beautiful post about your parents and how they met and got married. This is a wonderful tribute to their life together. Thank you for sharing with us.
Thank you for your kind words. 🙂 ….. And we’re thinking about ya’ll in Texas dealing with such heat!! Hope you are able to be in a cool place. It was nice to hear from you.
Thank you, Melodie! I can guarantee you that I am staying INSIDE today!
Fortunately my work hours for the next week are only 4 hours a day, and I have a flexible schedule that I can adjust myself. So I’m going to try to be there at 8 instead of 10 and work until noon, then come home! The cats and I are being very lazy today!