Maybe Not a Best Seller, but Precious for Families

Another Way for week of November 17, 2023

Maybe Not a Best Seller, but Precious for Families

Last week I introduced a book my family has been working on, Cultivating Fields, Faith and Family: Mom and Dad’s Memorable Mennonite Life.

Some of the stories I’ve shared here over the years, but I don’t think I ever shared the story of the  grandfather I never knew (my mother’s dad). It is only recently that we heard a part of his story that we’d never heard before. 

[From the book]: “Grandma Stauffer’s husband and Mom’s father, Ivan, was killed in a car accident in 1952 [I was just an eight-month-old baby]. Ivan had spent the day at Vernon and Bertha’s [our Mom and Dad] doing a project of some kind, and then headed home. On the way, Ivan crashed into a tree. We still have the newspaper clipping.

Many years later, Mabel Steiner, one of mother’s longtime friends, shared how as the pastor’s wife, she had the difficult job of accompanying her husband, Elno, to Ruth’s house as bearers of the devastating news about Ivan.

Mabel said they drove up to Grandma Stauffer’s home and Grandma was out waiting on the front porch, likely wondering why her husband hadn’t come home yet. Ruth must have had an inkling that something was terribly wrong when he was late because she would have never been just waiting out on the porch—she was always a busy busy homemaker. Pastor Elno had to tell Grandma that Ivan’s car had gone off the road and hit a tree. Police said perhaps he had a stroke or heart attack; the cause was unknown.

Mabel remembers Grandma gasping and then kind of said, “Oh …” and likely had to sit down at the shocking news, but she didn’t fall to pieces. Mother remembers her mother crying later on when she was in the company of her children.

Mabel’s memories were very precious to us—an insight about Grandma Ruth at her moment of greatest crisis. It was revealing and very sad—a piece of a puzzle filled in (how Grandma found out and reacted). Mabel also added that Grandpa Ivan, who we never really knew, was a great joker and loved children very much. (Mabel and Elno had their own deep and devastating experiences with grief, losing three of their six children before they themselves passed away.)

Grandma Stauffer once wrote down a page full of memories and connections regarding her family. One of the things she wrote was how girls/women in those times did not want to have tanned skin, because it made them look like they were farm workers who had to work in the sun. They covered up their arms with stockings (toes cut out) to keep from getting tanned. Way to go, Grandma and her generation. They probably didn’t have as much skin cancer to deal with as our current generation, or the wrinkled skin of someone who has practiced sunbathing or visiting tanning salons. The irony in our family was that Bertha, while taught to cover up her skin when she was a child, went on to love sporting a tan while she lived in north Florida for eight years. We frequently went to nearby beaches. She, too, had to pay for her sun-loving ways, and had to have several basal cell carcinomas removed from her head and back.

Our Grandma spent her last forty or so years living alone and managing a farm, with the help of hired farmers to take care of crops. An adept seamstress, she also supported herself making clothing for various people, doing alterations on clothing, and also making Mennonite head coverings for women, which were required by Mennonite church doctrine at the time.”

This new book has dozens of short stories from our family life, which may stir memories of your own. It took some work but I encourage others to get some of their family stories and legacy down!

***

Jot your recent Thanksgiving memories down now … five years from now you’ll have the details!

The book launched last weekend on Amazon for $18.99. If you do not go online or the Internet and want to get a copy, write to me at Another Way, P.O. Box 363, Singers Glen, VA 22834, or email anotherwaymedia@yahoo.com.

Another Way is a column by Melodie Davis, in syndication since 1987. She is the author of ten books, most recently Memoir of an Unimagined Career. Another Way columns are posted at FindingHarmonyBlog.com a week after newspaper publication.  

[Please note: Ads on this blog have not been approved by me and I don’t earn anything from the ads.]