How Do You Feel About Authority

Blog post

How Do You Feel About Authority?

At my church, we have small groups that meet several times a month (like many others do). It is certainly a helpful way to be more closely related to friends and folks from church.  

Our group meets twice a month, and one of the things we do is choose a study book which often lasts a year or so. This past year, we’ve been enjoying—and learning from a book called The Gift of Years: Growing Older Gracefully, by Joan Chittister. She is an American Benedictine nun and has written numerous helpful books.

When I first looked at the chapter we were to study called “Authority,” I wondered, um, where is she going with this word? I’m not an authority, am I? I don’t really strive to be an authority.

But we all dug into this book offering new thinking, and I’ll capsulize it here. It gave me some new thoughts.

Okay, I’m no spring chicken but the opening quote from Cicero gave us pause: “Old age, especially an honored old age, has so great authority, that this is of more value than all the pleasure of youth.”

Well, I had to find out more about who Cicero actually was, rather than just someone to stump a Jeopardy contestant. Cicero was verifiably ancient—born 106 years before Christ and died in 7 BC. Before Christ. Wikipedia says he was a Roman statesman (politician??), lawyer, scholar, philosopher, a great orator, and writer!

So old age, he said, is better than our youthful days.

How, and what can aging mean for us?

We have a pick-up truck whose tires are aging, meaning that we better buy some new ones to keep the truck going. Most of us have equipment in our homes that is either failing or in need of repair. New stuff if what is needed, right?

Well, to an extent. But, with people, aging can be a special and delicious time of life.

As a mother of three daughters and now grandmother of five grandsons and two granddaughters (yay, finally, for the recent little girl arrivals to our family), I am thinking especially of how we adults and even oldsters can lead and teach and exert helpful authority. Not bossing around, but loving guidance and teaching of manners and love.

Chittister reminds us that it used to be in many societies all around the world, for those who were older, they were honored, respected, and in general, looked up to. Hmmm. Not seeing a lot of that although those of us who have been blessed with children and grands and great grands are—if they are taught well—can be grandparents who are looked up to. In ancient days, Chittister says “only the elderly were fit to rule.” I’m guessing that some were more fit and generous and helpful than others in their ruling. Be that as it may, as I get older, I can be happy that I can try to be a role model and helpful and loving.

My daughter was coaxing her daughter to apologize to her cousin after she hit him—not hard—but perhaps behavior observed or learned at her daycare. I don’t know. She pouted, didn’t want to apologize, perhaps didn’t know—although I know she’s been taught—what words to use. I said softly, just say “I’m sorry.” At last she quietly and quickly murmured “I’m sorry” and her oldest cousin responded nicely “thank you.” I wasn’t sure whether I should butt in, but I was so happy to hear her little “sorry.”

As older people, we do feel behind the times—can’t keep up with changes in technology, online or elsewhere. At least I do! I had to go without our computer for about two months this summer and when I finally got a working computer back again, I felt so out of it that I paid a guy I used to work with (who lives nearby) to come over and help me get started again with browsers and One Drive and Google photos etc.

We feel out of place and confused about many things—how  SHORT do girls want their shorts to be, anyway?! Especially at football games, etc. We sigh and go on. Trends will change—nice long blue jeans and even long dresses and flowing skirts are also seen.

Chittister is now 86 and appears to be going strong as a theologian, author and speaker. She went to University of Notre Dame and Penn State University. She continues to be an influential person in social justice, peace and women’s issues, or so says Wikipedia. She says, “Clearly old age has a role to play in the development of the world around us. We do not live all these later years simply not to die. We live in order to make life better—both for ourselves and for others.”

She further points out that the calling to be comfortable and helpful in spreading wisdom doesn’t have a name in our current society. She mentions how “shamans” had roles as healers, religious leaders or counselors. Various religions have a role where those who are trying to help others and become even better persons as we age, is important. In such cultures there is “an understanding that in the older generations resides insight that is lacking to the younger ones,” says Chittister.

I like that idea, of trying to be better as we age. Retirement is for more than going to doctors (which is needed and important too, and understandably difficult as bones and diseases and muscles fade) and for long awaited vacations around the world. But we need to foster spiritual strength as elders.

Are we up to it? It gives us something to reach for in our older days.