The Thin-Skinned Stupid Old Lady

The Thin-Skinned Stupid Old Lady. Or, What is the Dumbest Thing You Ever Did?

I am aghast.

I am mad.

I am deflated, a little.

What should you not do when you go to a splendid birthday party for 40-50 guests including 30 or more hyper children (and no, not the hyper event going by the official “Hyper Kids” name we went to a couple of weeks ago for our own granddaughter in Maryland). This party had an array of some cousins, some friends, some of us quite old and others three months or less old.

But, I should have known better.

A table of children, mostly girls at that point, (girls who were just a tad older than the tiny ones), were coloring pictures for the guest of honor, a one-year-old celebrating her very first birthday. The theme for the day was “Silly Goose” (which you can find for your kid or grandchild on Amazon, if you are looking for birthday products and themes, which I had never found). With loads of excitement, sweetness, and charm everywhere.

At any rate, I was drawn to the table of children who were putting goose-related tattoos on their hands and arms, and some on their faces. Normally, I am not into tattoos of any type but the girls were making it so easy with little blue sponges filled with water that I allowed one of the girls to smack it on for me. It was sweet and cute.

Except for when I tried to get it off the next day! It was like dried paint that had been dried for years. Then I realized I was hoping to go to my aerobic swim class on Monday and usually any kind of blood or sore that needed healing was a no-no—not permitted, of course, in the pool. Would someone think that I had a sore? Ask me about it? Wonder? I began to scrub the top of my hand and then I realized that, being as old as I am, the skin on my hand is very very thin and tender. I tried baking soda and my scrub brush but neither of those helped much.       

  

Eventually, I grabbed an anti-bacterial hand wipe and as I cautiously scrubbed my left hand, I finally got it all off. Whew.

Which leads ME to: what is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done!

We all have them, and I started reminiscing on what some of my dumbalities (not a word, I know, but it works here) were!

… The time I was just five or so and me and my sisters all ran out to see the new baby colt that summer morning inside the fence beside our lane—but I didn’t have my underwear on yet that morning and simply made my pajama-top cover myself. And my sister took a picture of us excitedly looking toward the new colt, including no panty on me.

… The time I thought I was running late for the school bus and went dashing out and tripped and fell up the bus step and hit part of my tooth knocking off probably an 8^th of an inch. I hated that tooth for years but now that I’m this old, you hardly notice it!

… The time my friends agreed to get mad at one of our friends who had borrowed my sneakers to go outside but when recess was over, she couldn’t scrub the mud off the bottom and the “friends” all agreed to get mad at her. Nasty nasty.

… Times when I told a fib.

At any rate, this thin-skilled old lady learned a lesson and I hope you have too! Or maybe got a laugh or two.